Ambition

"Ambition is like love, impatient of both delays and rivals."

~ Buddha

Living with a "Can Do" attitude

I had a much needed talk with a really good friend of mine today. She told me that we will not be those women who sit around saying "if I had this, then I would do this". We were talking about money and jobs and the things we need to do. So she said instead of having a defeatist attitude we have to have the attitude that we ARE going to do something and that it WILL become manifest in our lives.

So often we walk around with this attitude that proves our worst fears...that we are less than and will not achieve our goals. At least I can admit I do sometimes. And it's hard for me because I'm such an optimistic person; so when I get down I'm down for the count. lol But it takes those people in your life to remind you of who you are.

I've made it too far to give up now because of this job situation. Life after undergrad is hard...especially when your waiting on something as big as the Peace Corps.

I prayed on it and I'm speaking it into existence and into my being...I WILL accomplish my goals and I will be AMAZING...right now that goal is getting a good job that will help me grow professionally and my long term goal is International Law.

Like I said on facebook the other day--whatever is for me is for me...I can't change it, but what I can do is be optimistic and be ready for the blessings coming my way.

That is a huge part of my walk towards living my life, loving myself and of course being fly ;-)

Stay blessed.

p.s. I really hope I can get people to read my blog....haha more on hair and such later...had to send some positive energy out there :-)

Updates!

Hi!

So I haven't been posting...and it's like at this point, no one knows about my blog so I'm just typing to myself...lol

BUT! I think that now that I have nothing to do accept work, I can devote some time to my blog. So here are a few updates.

-I GRADUATED! oh yes...it feels great, now on to bigger and better things.

- I will be reaching my 6 month natural mark on the 14th of this month! (round of applause).

- I'm pretty sure I'm going to the Peace Corps, but my dad has been lolly gagging a little bit getting this letter in that says he will take care of my credit card payments :-/. But he's a busy man so I'm not trippin to much.

- I tried a twist-out last night(my first time ever) and while I was twisting, it looked so cute--but then I went to sleep, when I undid them the next morning it was...well...blah. I will try again next week I suppose. Perhaps I'll post some pics of what I had. Tomorrow I will just wash n' go like I normally do.

- I've been doing the Insanity Workout...it's ridiculous to say the least. I def skipped today (shame on me) but I will do it tomorrow. Shaun T is a lunatic. lol

I think that is it for now....I'll think of something soon I suppose :-).

Vintage Shopping

I have found a new online obsession!! Shopping on ebay for vintage items. It's a TREASURE TROVE! Like I'm mad at myself for never thinking about it... *duh moment* lol. The only thing about it is I have to find my size in the cute stuff :-/...I suppose that's incentive to work out!! whoop! I am currently bidding on this really cute high waist mini full circle skirt. I better get it! It didn't have any bids yesterday.

I'm running off to check the bids now! Go try vintage shopping online if you haven't yet! Great alternative to being away from the plethora of vintage and thrift stores in the cities!

On Growth and My Hair

Lately I have been wanting to put into words how I feel about my hair. I've spoken about it so much to people close to me and people who ask me about my hair in passing.

Let me just say first that I LOVE MY HAIR. To no end. Every time it gets on my nerves I love it more because I see then that I have to let it do it's thing and it will show me what it wants to do. That sounds crazy doesn't it?

But it shows that this whole process is about so much more than just "being/going natural". The reasons that I went natural were because I wanted my hair to be healthy and because I wanted the versatility that came from having natural hair. It hasn't gotten to the point that I can straighten it with some style yet, but even if it were I don't think at the point I am at now, that I would even want to. I love the different curls that hide in my hair and the other ones that pop out randomly. I love the fact the front of my head is a lot more coily (it's a word to me!) than the back and the back has found itself doing it's own thing (lol).

With this fondness that I found for my natural locks though, I have found that it has helped me grow a little more each day. I'm more comfortable with who I am and even when I do find myself having insecurities I take it as another growing lesson. I have my own little quirks that my friends make fun of me for practically every day, but I always know that if it weren't for those quirks and random sayings, they wouldn't love me as much as they do. I'm who I am for a reason and God made me to be who I am going to be. I just have to allow Him to mold me and I need to stop trying to mold myself.

I think going natural and committing to actually using natural products and paying attention to what I eat (even though I've been slipping up) have allowed me to grow along with my growing hair. I'm not the only natural girl out there who feels this way too...I think it's all a part of the process and I'm so happy I'm going through it.

One week before I cute my hair off I sat in my room and cried...like really cried because I had to prepare myself to let go of my hair. I wasn't going to have the security of the face frame lol. I sat there and had to stop and look at myself like "what the heck are you crying about??" It's a big decision though to go through something like cutting off your hair. Especially with the drastic cut of having a fade (it was mad cute though). I was afraid of what guys were going to think and how I was going to feel about myself. But it was such an exhilarating experience and I loved the ease of dealing with the short process of "doing" my hair everyday. And I love how everyone is seeing my hair grow, I love the reactions.

And about the whole "worried about what guys think" thought is so far gone out of my head...I've realized that the attention I was getting from guys before was so incredibly artificial. I love the guys who think I'm beautiful with my natural and short hair. They aren't caught up on the superficiality of straight long hair. Run your fingers through these curls fool! haha

Don't get me wrong though! I miss my long hair! I miss pulling it back and styling it, but I wouldn't trade the hair I have now for anything. It's so healthy and full. I love it!

So for anyone reading this blog (if it's anyone at all) who is thinking about doing the big chop or thinking about joining the natural more fly side of things :-) just do it. Don't worry about what other people are saying to discourage you. Honestly you shouldn't tell too many people your plans anyways because that leaves more room for them to contaminate your dreams with their opinions, but you know what I'm saying. Do you boo, do you :-).

On Billie Holiday

I know this goes without saying, but Lady Day was FLY! I mean I never see a picture of her that I don't want to recreate...she was a true lady. Now that I'm natural, I want to recreate some of her hairstyles with my natural look ( I need to let it grow some more though), but she used hair accessories and all my friends know I love me some headbands! lol but I just had to throw that out there...

back to my paper *womp*

Sidenote

I do realize that my last post was a lot like my first post...but whatevs. :-)