Lately I have been wanting to put into words how I feel about my hair. I've spoken about it so much to people close to me and people who ask me about my hair in passing.
Let me just say first that I LOVE MY HAIR. To no end. Every time it gets on my nerves I love it more because I see then that I have to let it do it's thing and it will show me what it wants to do. That sounds crazy doesn't it?
But it shows that this whole process is about so much more than just "being/going natural". The reasons that I went natural were because I wanted my hair to be healthy and because I wanted the versatility that came from having natural hair. It hasn't gotten to the point that I can straighten it with some style yet, but even if it were I don't think at the point I am at now, that I would even want to. I love the different curls that hide in my hair and the other ones that pop out randomly. I love the fact the front of my head is a lot more coily (it's a word to me!) than the back and the back has found itself doing it's own thing (lol).
With this fondness that I found for my natural locks though, I have found that it has helped me grow a little more each day. I'm more comfortable with who I am and even when I do find myself having insecurities I take it as another growing lesson. I have my own little quirks that my friends make fun of me for practically every day, but I always know that if it weren't for those quirks and random sayings, they wouldn't love me as much as they do. I'm who I am for a reason and God made me to be who I am going to be. I just have to allow Him to mold me and I need to stop trying to mold myself.
I think going natural and committing to actually using natural products and paying attention to what I eat (even though I've been slipping up) have allowed me to grow along with my growing hair. I'm not the only natural girl out there who feels this way too...I think it's all a part of the process and I'm so happy I'm going through it.
One week before I cute my hair off I sat in my room and cried...like really cried because I had to prepare myself to let go of my hair. I wasn't going to have the security of the face frame lol. I sat there and had to stop and look at myself like "what the heck are you crying about??" It's a big decision though to go through something like cutting off your hair. Especially with the drastic cut of having a fade (it was mad cute though). I was afraid of what guys were going to think and how I was going to feel about myself. But it was such an exhilarating experience and I loved the ease of dealing with the short process of "doing" my hair everyday. And I love how everyone is seeing my hair grow, I love the reactions.
And about the whole "worried about what guys think" thought is so far gone out of my head...I've realized that the attention I was getting from guys before was so incredibly artificial. I love the guys who think I'm beautiful with my natural and short hair. They aren't caught up on the superficiality of straight long hair. Run your fingers through these curls fool! haha
Don't get me wrong though! I miss my long hair! I miss pulling it back and styling it, but I wouldn't trade the hair I have now for anything. It's so healthy and full. I love it!
So for anyone reading this blog (if it's anyone at all) who is thinking about doing the big chop or thinking about joining the natural more fly side of things :-) just do it. Don't worry about what other people are saying to discourage you. Honestly you shouldn't tell too many people your plans anyways because that leaves more room for them to contaminate your dreams with their opinions, but you know what I'm saying. Do you boo, do you :-).
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